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The scariest part of growing up is realizing you possess some of the same flaws that your parents have.
♨️40ish male. ♨️
NSFW ** Under 18 please leave now**
SAFE space for the oppressed.
Lover of peace and equality. I’m not sure what this blows will look like, post porn ban. We’ll see.
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Check me out on kinkspace.net and bdsmlr.com , username Praepes405 both places.
The scariest part of growing up is realizing you possess some of the same flaws that your parents have.
This. Is. Not. A. Joke.
Its TERRIFYING.
And the fact that we’re aware of it only helps on a minuscule level.
able-bodied people don’t seem to realise the nuances of disability, they look at it as such a black and white issue when it’s really not. like, i don’t need a wheelchair in the sense that i can’t physically use my legs and i don’t need a walking stick in the sense that i would fall over without one. but i do need a wheelchair in the sense that it could make the difference between my being bed-bound for a day and being bed-bound for a week and i do need a walking stick in the sense that using one today might enable me to do more tomorrow. disability and chronic illness aren’t black and white; using things out of necessity can mean a lot of different things for a lot of different people.
^ My rant whenever I see that “There has been a miracle in the alcohol aisle” viral picture of a woman standing up out of her wheelchair to reach something from the top shelf.
Same also goes for visual impairments; most people registered blind can see, but barely, and/or with tunnel vision that allows them to for example look at a phone screen, but still need a white stick for walking or else they’ll be at constant risk of accident.
Sure, some people will fake / exaggerate disabilities and/or illnesses. But the vast majority of people are doing the opposite and just trying to minimise the impact of their disability / illness.
Anonymous asked:
instructor144 answered:
“I appreciate that you recognize your failings, and I hold no ill will towards you. That being said, you are part of my past, and I am looking to the future. I wish you well.” Period. Full stop.
A PM from a Follower, abstracted in the interests of privacy …
“Awhile back you mentioned in passing a Dom shutting down a scene if it got too intense for the sub to be able to use her safe word responsibly. What are the symptoms, so I can watch out for it and be aware?”
This is a great question. First, respect to you for wanting to understand and keep your girl safe. Here’s the thing: we hear all this stuff about “the sub is safe, because she always has her safeword.” And that is true, as far as it goes. But what happens when, in the intense heat of a scene, the submissive has lost the power of rational volition? That sounds fairly nebulous, and probably useless, so let me break it down to some characteristic external markers that I’ve encountered over the years …
Loss of rational speech. Is her speech mumbled, incoherent, and “off-topic”? You need to shut that shit down.
Irrational demands for “more, harder.” If you’ve pushed her to (and possibly a bit beyond) her previous limits and to a place that you know is beyond her tolerance (for pain, intensity, etc) and yet she continues to moan “more …. harder …” then she has dropped too deep into sub space to be a rational player in the scene, and you need to shut that shit down.
“What is your name?” If you think she’s slipped away, ask her “What is your name?” I once had to ask a girl her name three times before I got a mumbled response. If she can’t answer immediately and coherently, you need to shut that shit down.
Safeword. Above all else, if you ask “What is your safeword?” and she does not immediately respond crisply and coherently with her safeword, you need to shut that shit down at once.
Now, what do you do to bring her back? Hydration, a damp towel, under the covers, and a lot of cuddles and aftercare while talking to her softly and letting her know you’re there and all is well.
Hopefully these “indicators” will help you to keep your scenes Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
Thanks to my good friend @1-sadistic-lover for finding this. For the person who messaged me about this piece last night.
📝
Always worth a reblog.
Anonymous asked:
instructor144 answered:
That’s like being in first grade and thinking it’s shameful you can’t do trigonometry! We all have to start from the beginning, there is no fastpath. Channel your feelings, lift them up from feeling ashamed to feeling determined to learn and become a better Dom. You can do it. I did. We all did.
And don’t listen to the assholes out there who do say it’s shameful to lack experience. They have forgotten not only the faces of their fathers, but their own absence of experience when they were new to all this.
A co-worker of mine said one of his go to Dad-isms is “being bad at something is the first step toward being good at something.” This has stuck in my head because it applies to everything you’ve ever learned. No one starts out experienced and no one gets to the top of their game without getting out there and practicing.
Whether you’re learning a language or how to lead a submissive you have to start somewhere. If you’re open to learning from mistakes and improving and willing to seek out expert advice when needed then you are doing fine, keep “practicing” and ignore the haters.
